Travel Humor - Do You Suffer From TRAVEL SAD?

When you travel by plane, boat or train, do you find people glaring at you?  Do you feel they jostle you unnecessarily? 

Perhaps you suffer from TRAVEL SAD: Travel Related And Vehicle Engagement Lacking Situational Awareness Disorder.

Here is a checklist of situations. Assess each one and then add up your score to see if you are a victim of TRAVEL SAD.

Airports and Planes:

• Security - Do you feel the need to almost completely undress and empty your backpack, even though you are in the TSA Precheck line? Give yourself 2 demerits.
• Boarding a plane – When the gate agent explains that the plane will be boarded by rows or groups, do you barge to the front of the line even though you are in group 17?  Are you yakking on the phone and blocking the process? Give yourself 2 demerits.
• Finding your seat – Do you drag your oversize roll-aboard down the aisle, banging each and every seat, and then block the aisle for 5 minutes while you extract 18 items before cramming it into the overhead? That’s worth 3 demerits.
• Food - Do you take a smelly meal on the plane? 2 demerits.
• Exiting a plane – When the plane arrives at the gate, you have to wait a while before you can exit. Do you find yourself trying to clamber out of your seat, retrieve your oversized roll-aboard, stack your backpack on the handle? Give yourself 2 demerits. All while talking on the phone? Make it 4 demerits.
• Leaving the jetway – When you get to the top of the jetway and enter the terminal, do you stop to consult your phone or colleague, while standing at the very narrow choke point at the exit of the jetway? Award yourself 2 demerits.
• Rolling roadblock – Do you walk with your colleagues three or four abreast, preventing frantic travelers from reaching their gates? Give yourself 2 demerits.
• Delays – Do you yell at the flight attendants when the plane is delayed, even though it is completely out of their control? 2 demerits.

Subways/Trains:

• Boarding – Do you stand right in front of the doors so the exiting passengers can’t get off? Give yourself 2 demerits.
• Quiet Car – Do you think that the quiet car is the ideal place to have your loud and pointless cell call? 4 demerits.

Any Public Place:

• Music – Do you feel compelled to share your crappy music or ringtone with the world because you don’t like or lost your earbuds? That’s 4 demerits.
• Escalators - Do you block the end of the escalator? Give yourself 2 demerits.
• Museum – Do you take 20 selfies in front of the Mona Lisa while hundreds are waiting to get a glimpse? Give yourself 5 demerits.

Scoring:

• 0-4 demerits: Congratulations! I would travel with you any day.
• 5-10 demerits: There’s hope for you, but you need to work on it.
• 11-17 demerits: You need a travel guide. I am not volunteering.
• 18-30 demerits: Please stay home.