Travel Tip - Better Listen to the Gate Agent

Location: DFW Airport, on a plane waiting to depart to Monroe LA

I was on a regional jet headed from Dallas-Fort Worth to Monroe.  It was a lightly loaded flight, and it looked like all of the passengers were on board, but we weren't closing up for departure. I then noticed that a gate agent was on the plane talking to a passenger about 3 rows ahead of me.  Due to the distance I couldn't hear all of the conversation, but the following came through:

• The passenger was on the plane with a refunded (worthless) ticket and no boarding pass.  I can't figure how on earth that happens.
• The gate agent wanted him off the plane but the passenger was refusing.
• The first threat from the agent was that the passenger's daughter "could lose her privileges," making me think that the passenger was originally traveling on an airline pass or a ticket purchased with miles.  This threat had no effect.  To me that showed a degree of ingratitude and selfishness regarding his daughter.
• The next threat was the agent was going to fetch the police.  As with the first threat, this one had no effect.  To me that displayed a large measure of foolishness.

The gate agent then departed and the flight attendant came on and said that we would have a "slight delay" but specified no reason.  Ten minutes later two police officers boarded the plane and the passenger decided he would deplane.

Travel hint - When the gate agent says he will summon the police, it's not an idle threat; it's a promise.

Travel Story - It's an Up and Down World

Location: Flying from RDU to Denver via Chicago

4 days ago - Good news - Received free upgrades all the way
2:00 pm - Bad news - flights massively delayed due to weather in Chicago
2:30 pm - Good news - rerouted through Charlotte, with an upgrade from Charlotte to Denver
6:20 pm - Bad news - my seat 4F is not actually in first class; it's the first row behind the bulkhead
6:40 pm - Good news - seat 1A in first class is empty - maybe I can get it
6:45 pm - Bad news - two people are ahead of me on the upgrade list
7:10 pm - Good news - The flight attendant in first class comps me a meal and a drink

Sometimes it all works out in the end.

Travel Humor - There’s a Reason

Location: Bangalore Airport, waiting to fly to Doha, Qatar on my way home

Question: Why does it take 60 minutes to load a Qatar Airways flight?

Answer: 15 minutes to board, and 45 minutes to argue with the flight attendants about the seats.  And yes, the seats are assigned, but that doesn't seem to matter to some folks.

Yelling, screaming and crying by spoiled brats, refusing to sit in the assigned seats … and that was the adults!

Travel Tip - Hourly Parking at RDU Terminal 2

Location: RDU Airport, Terminal 2 Hourly Parking

This hint applies only to terminal 2 at RDU airport.  If you are going to the hourly/short-term parking to wait for someone, the upper level is sometimes full.  You have two options: go to the lower level, or go through the gate to the next section.  If you are in this situation, go to the lower level.  There are barriers at all levels, so once you go through the gate you can't get back.  I have been in the situation where I went through the gate, went to the lower level, and saw great parking spots just out of reach behind a barrier.  I had to park very far away because I didn't want to go out and come back in again.

The gate does have a sign above it that indicates that you are leaving hourly parking, but it is easy to miss.  I have talked to many folks who didn't see it and fell into the same trap as me.

Travel Tip - A Reason to Take the Middle Seat

Location: RDU Airport - Waiting to fly to Bangalore via London on AA174 AKA "Rusty"

Most widebody airliners are set up with 2 aisles in coach.  It's usually best to avoid the crummy seats in the middle between the aisles, but it can also be good if you have the middle section to yourself so you can lie down.  If you are fortunate enough to have this situation, be sure to secure your good fortune by sitting in the middle seat.  On my fairly empty 767 (2-3-2 seating) I saw two women who each had a 3-seat middle section all to themselves.  After takeoff the first moved from her assigned aisle seat to the middle, thus discouraging space poachers.  The second stayed in her assigned aisle seat, and had the other end of her once-empty row grabbed by an enterprising passenger. Move quickly!

P.S. The second woman was eventually able to eject the interloper and lie down.  You may not be so lucky (or perhaps assertive).

Travel Humor - English, the Universal Language for Snark

Location: RDU Airport - Waiting to fly to Bangalore via London on AA174 AKA "Rusty"

While waiting to board I was standing next to a German family: Mom, Dad, sister and 2 little brothers.  The kids all looked to be grade-schoolers.  The boys were being a bit rambunctious and things were getting out of control, with more and more arguing in German.  Finally one of the boys did something to big sis (who looked to be about 12) and she had had enough.  She struck a pose with one hand on her hip, the other with a finger wagging, and said in very good English "oh no you just di-int!" and then resumed arguing with brother in German.

Travel Story - A Bolt, A Bolt, My Kingdom for a Bolt

Location: On a plane at DFW airport in Dallas

We were delayed a bit for an unspecified mechanical problem.  Later it was announced that one of the seats was broken, and that it needed a bolt and washer.  A maintenance crew was dispatched to get the parts and bring them back to the plane.

Apparently it was a very specialized bolt and washer.  Here is the crew getting the bolt and washer out of inventory.

That's right - they got an entire seat assembly out of storage and took the bolt and washer from it.  Gotta hand it to them for a "git 'er done" attitude.

 Best comment - Margaret Hinrichs: Where there is a will, there is a way.